Mentoring Our Boys –

Got Mentors?

There is a need! A need for mentors. And the needs are being met.

The momentum is gaining strength as awareness of the need grows. Organizations like Hope for Youth Alliance are meeting the needs. Daniel Arrelano has seen the needs and has stepped up to the plate. He has formed this nonprofit organization for Northern New Mexico, reaching out via the internet at their website: hopeforyouthalliance.org.
Or you can just go to GotMentors.org.

Find a group in your local area. Volunteer your time to mentor a youth. The boys need men in their lives, and many are going without. I know a single mom who went to a mentoring program to ask for a Big Brother for him. They told her that there were more women volunteering to be mentors but that there were more boys in need of a mentor. So they offered a Big Sister to this mother of a young boy. I think they missed the point.

So, men - get involved. Be their hope. Try a Google Search for mentoring opportunities in your area. It may be through one-on-one mentoring. Or it may be through your church, the Boy Scouts or an athletic program. But find a way to get involved.

Posted on May 29th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | 1 Comment »

eBook - Less than half the price!

The book title: Squires to Knights - Mentoring Our Teenage Boys is now available as an eBook. For less than half the price and no shipping, you can purchase the book and receive it as a PDF file.

Go to http://squirestoknights.com.

Posted on May 20th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

An Experpt from Raise Sons, by Tony Rorie of The Men of Honor Ministries.

From his age of earliest remembrance, David Livingston would sit upon his father’s knee and hear stories about the Dark Continent. From his knee, he could almost smell the smoke of campfires rising above the grass rooftops of a thousand villages. He could envision the dense and uncharted jungles. He could taste the spray of cascading waterfalls over massive heights and he knew that one day he would take the good news of Jesus Christ to Africa. It became his passion and his destiny.

The day would finally come. Twenty years later, now married, David Livingstone embarked on his missionary journey of exploration. He immediately began charting and evangelizing, village-by-village throughout the hostile country.

Through great personal sacrifice and imminent danger the gospel began to illuminate the darkest regions as this fiery evangelist pursued those lost and blinded by centuries of demonic oppression.

His wife, now a great part of his ministry and life, fell ill and contracted a deadly disease. With no other options, David and his wife returned to England to the care of doctors and badly needed medicine. As days passed, his wife’s condition revealed that there was no possible option for her return to the mission field. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and David Livingstone’s restlessness began to increase. Finally, while David paced the floor in his wife’s room, His wife told him “you must return to Africa, your passion is consuming you.” As the prophecy of the Savior has said, “The zeal of thine house hath consumed me”, so David Livingstone’s purpose in life was calling to him.

With great heartache, he left his loving wife and departed for the calling masses in need of the Savior. Their tremendous love for each other was testified to by their correspondence across the seas. Parting was no easy thing for them.

Through villages and jungles, he relentlessly traveled proclaiming salvation through the Name of Jesus. Often caught between tribal wars and skirmishes, he narrowly avoided harm. In one such flight, while running for his life in the dead of night, his eye was lost as he ran into a protruding tree branch in the darkness. But even without the benefit of two eyes, his spiritual vision saw a nation that needed the message of freedom in Christ. Wild animals attacked him. In one such attack, he had his shoulder mauled by a wild Lion.

His love for his wife never dimmed as they corresponded their love across the oceans in letters of great affection. The day came when David would return to the wife of his youth. The years of exposure to the sun had so darkened his now leathery skin and the jungle had so marred his countenance that his wife did not recognize him, save for his voice as he entered her room.

David remained with his wife until her death and then returned for yet another missionary trip to Africa. This time, with no other focus and greater determination, he left for Africa to preach the Gospel.
As time continued, David himself contracted a deadly disease. David cried out to the Lord and said I will not leave again. If you want me to live, send medicine.

Some weeks later, an Englishman appeared in Africa from her majesty to interview the man so revered as the missionary explorer of Africa. He began to tell Mr. Livingston that first off, he was a swaggering atheist, no need in trying to convert him and that for some reason he was supposed to bring him medicine.

With the medicine he needed, David continued from village to village preaching and seeing many delivered from the bondage of sin that all men without Christ are subject to.

His condition grew graver as the years passed by. His body was now failing, yet his spirit and relentless desire continued to press on. Eventually he would have to be carried on a litter from village to village where he would prop himself up and preach to the conversion of his hearers.

Exhausted yet undaunted, David Livingston was confronted by one of his servants by his bedside. “You must rest Mr. Livingston, you must sleep!” “No!” David Livingston replied, “I must pray for Africa! Please prop me up by my bed to pray.” Hours later the servant returned to check on his leader. To his amazement, David Livingston had died on his knees, praying for the country that he had given his entire life and strength to evangelize!

The tribal leaders gathered from all areas of the continent to honor this great general of God. They ceremonially wrapped and decorated his body and began a relay to hand carry his body, on a cot, to the coast where an awaiting vessel would carry him back to his homeland for burial. As the procession reached the shore, those Englishmen waiting to carry his body home were shocked as one of the tribal leaders took out a great knife and cut into the chest of David Livingston. “What are these savages doing?” cried the Englishmen. The Chiefs replied as they cut out something from his chest, “His body may belong to England, but his heart belongs to AFRICA!”

Where are our hearts? How do we value our purposes in life? What is the passion of our existence? Where will they bury our hearts when we die? Will it be on the golf course? Will it be in the stands of a sporting event, or perhaps in the living room in front of our televisions? Or will our hearts beat on in the chest of men that we have help build and sons that we have raised. Will the legacy of our passion live on for greatness or decompose in the soil of some menial, mediocre pursuit not worthy of the greatness that is our potential. We must come alive to the fact that we must invest somewhere and that our lives create a legacy for good or evil in the lives of the men around us and the sons we raise beneath us.

Posted on May 16th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring | 1 Comment »

I did it! I just released my son to take off on his own. He graduates from high school this coming Saturday. So last Sunday I knighted him with a ceremony and I presented him with a sword.

The Sword

On Brian’s thirteenth birthday, I presented him with a medieval Crusader sword. But I told him the sword wasn’t his yet. It would be a symbol of his training into manhood and he would receive it when the training was done. He has had that sword sitting out for more than five years waiting for the day it would be his.

The Training

While being a good husband and father makes a man a good role model for a son, I felt like I should do more. I wanted to mentor my son along with some other boys. I wanted some other men to be involved as well. After reading Raising a Modern-day Knights by Robert Lewis, I began meeting monthly with a group of guys. We played, roasted hotdogs over a fire, then talked about Christ-centered manhood. We did this once a month for most of five years. Squires2Knights Ministries was born from this experience as well as a book I wrote titled Squires to Knights - Mentoring Our Teenage Boys

The Manhood Ceremony - Becoming a Knight

Last Sunday evening I had my wife drop off my son about 3 miles from our house in the country. One of his grandfathers was waiting for him at the side of the road. After 10 minutes of walking and talking, his other grandfather was waiting along the side of the road. This continued through seven different men - pastors, mentors and even his current boss. I walked with him the last five minutes - although he’s heard enough from me, so I didn’t offer much.

When we got to our house, we had a crowd of men and boys (young men) along with family members waiting around a campfire. I then presented him with his sword. The following was my prepared statements as I capped off the ceremony:

“While history has stories about good knights and bad knights, the image we all have of the medieval knights is one of impeccable character. They were known as gentlemen. They were respectful to authority as well as respectful to the common people. They were courteous to all women of all ages. They were counted on as defenders, skilled in battle techniques. And they were known to be loyal and faithful to their God and their king.

A protégé under a knight was known as a squire. He began his training at about age 13 and was knighted at about age 18 to 22. We’ve had this sword since Brian’s 13th birthday and today he is 18 and about to graduate from high school.

The sword is a widely recognized symbol of knighthood. And scriptures use the sword in many images of biblical truth. My favorite is found in the description of the Armor of God in Ephesians 6. The sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God – it is the only offensive weapon described in the armor of God. We know that God created with His Word; we know that Jesus is the Word; and we know that the Word of God is our source of truth. So tonight I present Brian with this sword, which has been a symbol of his training since he was 13 years old.

Along with the symbology of the sword, I also adopted three Bible verses for Brian and some of his friends. The core theme for these biblical truths has been found in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14. Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Do everything in love. The Greek word for “act like men,” andrizomai (an-drid’-zom-ahee), actually implies a masculine courage, also translated “be men of courage.” The word for “Be strong,” Krataioo (krat-ah-yo’-o), is used in another verse to introduce the Armor of God. Ephesians 6:10 says, Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God …” These two Greek words in the Bible are used to describe real men.

Now let’s go to 1 Kings 2:1-3. King David is about to die. He says to his son, Solomon, “Be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires…” Sounds like there’s something to this masculine strength.

Another great word used to describe a real man is found in Job 40:7. God says to Job, “Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.” The word used here for man is Geber, meaning man, strong man, warrior (emphasizing strength or ability to fight).

Now here’s something that’s very cool. The name we gave our son, way before his teen years, has special meaning. The word for Brian is of Celtic origin meaning strong, noble and high. Brian’s name fits right in with God’s descriptors for men.

Brian is a warrior at heart. He is not intimidated by anything and he has a natural drive to defend those in need. He is also driven to stand firm on what is right and true as well as to stand firm in his faith. These Greek and Hebrew words used in the Bible to describe real men, andrizomai – man of courage, Krataioo - strong, and Geber – strong man or warrior, are great descriptors of our Brian. He is a strong man of courage.

Brian, would you please face me and lower to one knee.

Brian, I dub you a knight. And I bless you as you embark on this next stage in your life. You will do well for yourself, but more important, I know you are committed to God, to your future family, and to the Body of Christ.”

Posted on May 7th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring, Rite of Passage | 1 Comment »

Devotions for Teenage Boys

The S2K Devotions are designed to help you lead discussions with the young men in your group or just with your son. These devotions are intended for frequent and consistent use at athletic team practices, Boy Scout meetings, after-school programs or any other group program for young men.

You are highly encouraged to personalize your devotion time with your group. Ad-lib, include your own stories, tell jokes, and get the boys involved by promoting lively discussion. Invite the Holy Spirit as you grow together in Christ.

One mom had this to say about the S2K Devotional: “I’ve printed them out for my husband to use with my son (his stepson) as the training before having a Call to Manhood ceremony for him. Thank you so much for the work you have done here. It is exactly what we want him to learn and know as he grows into Manhood and we pray into a Godly man at that.”

The Squires2Knights Devotional is available through Squires2Knights Ministries. Free PDF download copies are available on the website.

Posted on April 19th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

Knighthood Verses

Squires2Knights Ministries is equipping men to mentor our boys. In my book, Squires to Knights, I offer a strategy for mentoring our boys. In both of these resources the teaching topics for manhood training come from three Knighthood Verses.

These teaching topics will provide you and your group with a well-defined set of ideals and a Biblically grounded definition of manhood. They will help you advance your young men from squires to knights.

In order to catalog the devotions and lessons, the twelve topics have been numbered according to the applicable verse: 1, 2, and 3; then by the character trait within the verse; i.e. 1.1, 2.4, 3.2.

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The Three Knighthood Verses are:

(also posted online, click here)

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Luke 2:52: And Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and men.

1 Corinthians 16:13, 14: Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, act like men (be men of courage); be strong. Do everything in love.

1 Corinthians 15:49: And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven.

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The following is an expanded version of our teaching topics:

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1. Luke 2:52: And Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and men.

“And Jesus grew…” Jesus was twelve years old when his parents found him in the temple courts of Jerusalem with the teachers. His teen-age years of growing and maturing followed.

1.1: Wisdom: From a biblical worldview, we use of our knowledge, discernment, and understanding to take the right course of action.

1.2: Stature: Physical nourishment, growth, strength and health.

1.3: Favor with God: Follow God’s will through faith, discipleship, prayer, love and service.

1.4: Favor with men: Socially competent. Able to gain the respect of people and to influence others.

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2. 1 Corinthians 16:13, 14: Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, act like men (be men of courage); be strong. Do everything in love.

2.1: Be on your guard: A call to fight against temptations from Satan, from the world, and from our selves. It also helps guide us toward self-control. Finally, we are called to be alert, always prepared for Jesus’ return.

2.2: Stand firm in the faith: The center of what gives meaning and purpose to our lives through Jesus Christ. Ultimately, it is our faith in Christ as our Lord that assures our salvation and it is our identity in Christ that directs our heart, mind and soul to the nature and character of God.

2.3: Act like men (be men of courage): This is the central theme for our lessons and discussions. This proclamation implores us to pursue our divine roles as men. Biblically, we are to be disciples, servants, husbands, fathers and finally, patriarchs. Not all men will be called to fulfill every one of these roles. Some of these roles will be carried out during different seasons of life. To fulfill these roles, we are called to spiritual leadership and servant leadership. We are to be the provider and protector. In this directive from Paul, the original text refers to a masculine courage.

2.4: Be strong: Strong in faith, strong in character, strong in perseverance, strong in body. This statement dovetails with our roles as leader, provider and protector.

2.5: Do: Implies being proactive, not passive or reactive. “Released from the law…we serve in newness of the Spirit,” proving ourselves “doers of the word.” As the Lord’s Prayer says: “Thy will be done.”

2.6: Everything in love: Sums up the law (Galatians 5:14) and implies a selfless, servant attitude.

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3. 1 Corinthians 15:49: And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven.

3.1: Adam, the earthly man: We are born as the first Adam (Hebrew for man): self-centered, worldly in our flesh and full of sin.

3.2: Christ, the man from heaven: Our “righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ” and we have “put on a new self” through Christ. No longer “under the law” of the old covenant, our identity “in Christ” directs our heart, mind, and soul to the nature and character of Jesus Christ, the “life-giving spirit.” Christ-likeness

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

New Website for Squires2Knights Ministries

Check out the new website at http://squires2knights.com. It’s a little cleaner and more masculine that the old design. I think it’s also laid out better. If it’s your first time on the site, see if there’s anything there for you. We’re equipping men to mentor our boys.

You can also find my recommendations for books relating to mentoring our boys at http://squirestoknight.com.

Posted on April 1st, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

CAN’T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS

I’ll start with three simple points. First, men are pretty much set in their ways. It’s hard to affect change in their lives. This leaves families with many work-a-holic men who fall short of fulfilling God’s plan for them at home.

Second, boys are impressionable. They look to their role models and are willing to learn from mentors. All they need are mentors to provide the right kind of manhood training.

Third, while men are set in their ways, they can change. They just need the right kind of push. Men’s ministries are affecting change in men all across our country. But I am convinced that if men believe their boys need them, if they understand the threats on their boys, if they know what their boys can accomplish through their fatherly mentorship, men will come through. This could be the most effective way to change men – make them mentors.

According to Robert Lewis, “Men assume social responsibility most naturally and effectively when (1) it is clear to them that the primary responsibility for the well-being of others rests on them and that others are relying on them, and (2) when they have been trained from an early age by the men in their lives to recognize and assume that responsibility faithfully.” Part one of his statement is fulfilled by making men into mentors. Part two becomes a reality for the next generation of men when today’s men realize part one.

For mentoring resources go to squires2knights.com

Posted on March 22nd, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Compound Return, Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

Rule of Compound Return

No doubt, you’ve seen an illustration of the rule of compound return on investment? A simple comparison of money tucked away in a jar verses an interest bearing investment. The example validates the impact of compound return. First, the illustration demonstrates the results of saving, say, $1,000 per year. After ten years, $10,000 is accumulated. After fifty years - $50,000.

Next, the illustration demonstrates the results of growth on an interest bearing investment. The simple interest on an annually invested $1,000 over fifty years, at 10% per year, culminates to become $177,500. But the rule of compound return on an annual interest rate of 10%, adds up to 1.28 million dollars. Not bad.

Investing with an Entrepreneurial Spirit

Let’s take this rule of compound return and add to it a touch of creativity and discipline. An entrepreneurial investor could save his $1,000 per year, invest the money at the long-term average interest rate of 10%, and then add an additional token amount of money. If he added a mere $200 per year (realized by drawing a small income from a hobby, let’s say writing or painting or woodwork or teaching piano or photography or graphics design or - you get the picture), he would accrue a portfolio equal to 1.54 million. That’s an additional $260,000 realized from the proceeds of a hobby. Now, let’s say our investor then saved $10,000 every five years by purchasing a used car instead of a new car (and invested the savings). After fifty years, this creative and disciplined investor could accrue as much as 3.63 million dollars from the same nominal sacrifice of $1,000 per year. That’s almost three times that of the above basic fifty year savings plan with compound return - just by enjoying a hobby and driving a used car.

What Does This Have to Do With Mentoring Boys?

I am so encouraged by how God has moved through Christian ministries in our country and throughout the world. We are seeing His blessings in churches, in communities, in homes, even in politics. Organizations like Focus on the Family, Promise Keepers and Campus Crusade for Christ are glorifying God with the fruit of evangelism and ministry. Every soul saved increases His kingdom and every life changed bears fruit for Him. We are investing in God’s people with a compounded return.

Let me explain how I believe God can move through us with the most effective fruit bearing ministry possible (entrepreneurial, if you will). I believe that no other target group for Christian ministry can have the same compound results (barring the intervening power of the Holy Spirit) than today’s boys. Our next generation of men, raised from today’s boys, can bring about a change that honors God’s plan for families, churches, communities, and our nation. This God honoring ministry has the potential for compound returns just as our creative and disciplined entrepreneurial investor did with his hobby, used cars and his $1,000 per year.

Now, I can hear the grumbling under your breath already. This may give the appearance that I believe we would do this in our own power. This sounds like God’s hand is not needed in this ingenious plan. I even offered the caveat: “barring the intervening power of the Holy Spirit.” But you know what? I believe God is waiting for our obedience to Him and our heart for His plan. This “manhood” ministry would be a total contrast with today’s legacy of men - careerism, materialism, and missing in action at home.

I believe that a movement by today’s men, raising the next generation of men, would be the result of the power of the Holy Spirit. This kind of obedience from men would glorify God and bring compounded blessing as prophesied in Malachi 4:5-6, “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” The Holy Spirit would be an invited guest and His power would be manifested through men who mentor today’s boys. And just as is illustrated by the above entrepreneurial investment plan, we can paint a picture of the rule of compound return that exceeds anything we’ve seen through our contemporary Christian ministries.

A tall order and a bold claim - so stay tuned…

Posted on February 26th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Compound Return, Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

Mentoring Preteens

Squires2Knights Ministries is equipping men for mentorship of teenage boys. This “Mentoring Our Boys” Blog also focuses on issues for mentorship of teens. I’d like to introduce you to two outstanding ministries offering ideas and resources for mentorship of preteen boys.

The Men of Honor

Tony Rorie operates The Men of Honor primarily as an after-school program for middle school aged boys. Tony has written two books: Raise Sons and The Quest -Becoming a Man of Honor. Check it out at www.themenofhonor.org.

Boys2Men4Christ

David Wills equips men to mentor fatherless boys ages 5-12 within the Church. He offers a very “user-friendly” DVD with all the tools you need. He calls it the “Ministry-In-A-Box.” It includes numerous video files and document files. Included is the B2M4C Ministry Manual, a Lesson Plan Manual, a Games List plus more. Check it out at www.boys2men4christ.com.

Posted on February 16th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »