Mentoring Our Boys –

THE NEXT GENERATION OF FATHERLESS MEN

I cannot emphasize enough: the fatherless boys of today need Godly men in their lives. The number of boys in this category is astronomical and growing. They are the products of a systemic breakdown of manhood that has evolved over several previous generations. This breakdown of Godly manhood has created a pattern of divorce and single parenting that is outside God’s plan. In turn, this growing problematic pattern is passed from one generation to another. The pattern must be broken.

My parents are examples of a resolute desire to break the pattern. My father, as a twelve-year-old, lost his dad to a stroke and was then raised entirely by his single mother. My mother overcame the burden of an absent father and two abusive stepfathers. My parents came together in marriage and modeled for me, and my siblings, a marital and parenting commitment that I hold dear. The pattern was broken and I want to help break this pattern in the lives of others who are not so fortunate.

Bringing Up Boys, James Dobson

Since remarriage may or may not solve the problem of finding masculine influence for her boys, the single mother has to figure out other ways to meet the challenge. How can she teach them to … think like a man? What can she tell them about male sexuality, and what can she do to get them ready to lead future families of their own?

[God] said repeatedly in His Word that He has a special tenderness for fatherless children and their mothers. There are many references in Scripture to their plight. For example:
• Deuteronomy 10:17-18: The Lord your God…defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.
• Deuteronomy 27:19: Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the alien, the fatherless or the widow.
• Psalm 68:5: A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling.
• Zechariah 7:10: Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor.

… you as a single mother must make an all-out effort to find a father substitute for your boys.

Placing your boys under the influence of such a man for even a single hour per week can make a great difference.

…do not let the years go by without a man’s influence in the lives of your boys. If they have no nurturing male role models by which to pattern themselves, they will turn to whoever is available, such as gang members, or perhaps, to you, the mom. And as we know, it is not healthy for boys to model themselves exclusively after their mothers.

… speaking … to Christians who live in intact families. You have been reading in this chapter about the challenges faced by single parents. I hope you will consider the ways you might help. Men, how about taking the sons of single mothers with your own boys when you’re going fishing or out to a ball game? Let those fatherless boys know that you care for them. Answer their questions and teach them how to throw a ball or how to block and tackle.

Every Man’s a Mentor, Sam Mehaffie, Forward by Dr. Ken Canfield

I am convinced that our responsibilities as men and fathers extend far beyond our own families. A faithful father has no choice about attending to the matters of the Father. One of those matters is clearly coming to the aid of the fatherless, the orphan and the distressed. God is “a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows. He sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5-6). If we fail in our mission to build a bridge to the fatherless, then our churches, communities, cities and nations as we know them will melt down.

Consider this: If every young man who grew up in an intact family stayed committed to a life long marriage, but every young man who left home from a broken family struggled with the idea of marriage commitment, our nation would likely continue in a downward spiral of dysfunctional families. Only 34 percent of all children born in America will live with both biological parents through age eighteen. And, with divorce rates at 50% or more, a study showed that three years after divorce, less than half the men ever see their kids again … ever! Also, 36.8% of births last year were to unmarried women. These fatherless kids must be given a model of God’s plan for marriage. That often means a non-family mentor who is willing to step in and expand his influence. That means you and me.

Resources would certainly be helpful. I have found that, while many are pretty psyched about the idea of mentoring boys on an athletic team, in a Boy Scout troop or church Youth Group, most feel ill-equipped to attempt Bible-based manhood training. And resources specifically design for teaching teenage boys what the Bible says about being a man are downright scarce. So Squires2Knights Ministries is offering low-cost and even free resources for just that purpose. Find what you need on our website: Squires2Knights.com Specifically check out the S2K Devotional for leading group discussions and the Squire’s Devotional for teen’s personal devotion time.

Posted on October 2nd, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Compound Return, Fathering/Mentoring