Mentoring Our Boys –

Colts win Super Bowl XLI

Tony Dungy became the first black head coach to win the Super Bowl when his Colts defeated the Chicago Bears on February 4, 2007. What makes his story so pertinent to the subject of mentoring our boys is the character and faith of this man. Coach Dungy is well know for his faith in Christ and his proper priorities in life - in spite of his affiliation with professional football.

Coach Dungy offers a great story for our young male athletes. In his book Quiet Strength, he tells the story of his life, his success, and his faith. It would be a great read for a young athlete who is growing and maturing in his athletic endeavors as well as his Christian manhood.

Coach Dungy shares this:

“The competing views of success in our world often create an interesting tension. Society tends to define success in terms of accomplishments and awards, material possessions, and profit margins. In the football business, winning is the only thing that matters.

God’s Word, however, presents a different definition of success - one centered on a relationship with Jesus Christ and a love for God that allows us to love and serve others. God gives each one of us unique gifts, abilities, and passions. How well we use those qualities to have an impact on the world around us determines how “successful” we really are.

If we get caught up in chasing what the world defines as success, we can use our time and talent to do some great things. We might even become famous. But in the end, what will it mean?

What will people remember us for? Are other people’s lives better because we lived? Did we make a difference? Did we use to the fullest the gifts and abilities God gave us? Did we give our best effort, and did we do it for the right reasons?

God’s definition of success is really one of significance - the significant difference our lives can make in the lives of others. This significance doesn’t show up in win-loss records, long resumes, or the trophies gathering dust on the mantels. It’s found in the hearts and lives of those we’ve come across who are in some way better because of the way we lived.”

From Quiet Strength - The Principles, Practices, & Priorities of a Winning Life, 2007, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Squires2Knights Ministries

Squires2Knights Ministries encourages these same attributes for male teenage athletes. Our resources teach principles, practices and priorities for Christ-centered manhood. For more, go to http://boysyouthsports.com/index.html

Posted on May 15th, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring, Guy Kinda Fun | No Comments »

While money is not inherently bad, the love of money is evil (1 Timothy 6:10). And when it comes to financial indebtedness, the borrower is a servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). Now in light of today’s national financial crisis, I can’t help but bring the issue into the topic of mentoring boys into manhood.

Squires2Knights Ministries

The Knighthood Verses offered by Squires2Knights Ministries (S2K) teach from twelve principles about God’s design for men. Among them are “wisdom,” “Be on Your Guard” and “Act Like Men” (from which we teach the responsibility of servant leadership and provision). Had today’s men been taught to be wise with money, to guard against materialism and excessive debt and to responsibly provide for the family, community and nation, our country would not be in the financial crisis we are faced with today.

Financial Responsibility

With the principles taught by S2K, men would not take their families into the mortgage debts that have causes the crash in the housing market and the mortgage banking industry. Men would not allow the companies they run to take the financial risk or to make the poor financial decisions we’ve witnessed of late. And finally, men would not allow the political direction we see with the government welfare and entitlement programs that are rewarding families and companies for the poor financial choices they’ve made.

Equip Mentors

As I have articulated so often, most of our social problems are symptoms of a single problem. For generations now, we haven’t really taught boys how to men. Tomorrow’s hope is in today’s boys. Today’s boys need changed men. They need faithful men. They need men equipped to to model, teach and mentor our boys.

Find our resources for equipping men at www.mentoringourboysbooks.com.

Posted on February 28th, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
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From Role Model to Mentor

In my book, Squires to Knights - Mentoring Our Teenage Boys I wrote a chapter titled: From Role Model to Mentor. While role models are great, it’s mentoring that really gets the job done. Role models may never interact with the kids who are watching and learning. Mentoring allows a protege to get inside the mind and heart of his mentor.

David Robinson has gone the extra mile. He is more than just a role model. He’s a mentor. He gets involved with kids beyond the P.R. video clips we see on TV. He founded a school in San Antonio and stays actively involved with the kids. But he also makes clear to the general public why he is who he is.

How to Raise an MVP

From How to Raise an MVP (ZondervanPublishingHouse, 1996)we learn more about this man:

“He is a role model not just because “The Admiral” is basketball’s quickest, most versatile center, but because he neither smokes nor drinks, because he preaches the virtues of church and school and the vice of sex and drugs, because he’s smart and multitalented and the ultimate success story, whether you’re talking backboards, keyboards or college boards.

In an era when so many of us turn to our sports stars only to find them sadly lacking, David Robinson is a true role model.

For all his fame and fortune, David values faith and family ahead of all else.”

David the Christian

And then we hear directly from the Admiral:

“Becoming a Christian has changed by basketball life because it’s given me more of a purpose and determination. When I used to play for myself and my own glory, sometimes it was so much harder to be motivated. Because at what point do you have enough money? At what point do you have enough fame? How do you get over the little aches and pains? How do you find the motivation to get up and work out and push yourself harder and harder and harder? Some people have that drive in them. But I never really had that drive. If I could do things well enough for everybody’s satisfaction, that was enough. Until people pushed me, I never went past that. But God gave me another reason to excel. He gave me something beyond what anyone on Earth has ever given me. God saw in me a perfection, a place to go I could never envision. It was like letting my father down if I didn’t reach for that. I don’t know what my potential is. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but if I don’t go get it, if I don’t push myself toward it, then I have cheated God. There’s no way, when I come before him, that I want him to ask me, “What did you do with what I gave you?” and I have to say, “I buried it in the ground.”
I have an unbelievable responsibility on the basketball floor to honor what God has given me. It’s far more than what I feel toward the fans, and it’s far more than what I feel toward the people who pay me or what I feel even toward my teammates. I have a responsibility to come out here and work, make myself better and better, and not for my glory and honor but for His. So that’s my drive. God doesn’t want wimps. he wants warriors.”

Gotta love it! “God doesn’t want wimps, he wants warriors!”

Squires2Knights Ministries

Posted on February 14th, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring, Guy Kinda Fun | No Comments »

One of the Best Role Models in Professional Sports

I’m currently reading a book titled: How to Raise an MVP, Most Valuable Person (Ambrose and Freda Robinson, Zondervan Publishing House, 1996). It was written by the parents of David Robinson, retired super star of the San Antonio Spurs.

This is how David introduces this book and his parents:

“Families in our society today are faced with a growing number of challenges. Children are pressured daily to try or sell drugs. There is more pressure than ever before to enter into sexual relationships at an earlier age, and they confront crime and violence that are growing at alarming rates. Many parents are too busy living their own lives to make sure their children are living the right lives. Some are more preoccupied with work, hobbies, and self-improvement than with giving their children the quality time they need and deserve.

The family unit is being attached at its very foundation. But without the family, our country has no strength. As the strength of the family grows , so grows the strength of our communities and the strength of our nation. Everything starts in the home. We need to be more concerned parents. Our children need to be more attentive, caring, and disciplined.

My parents laid the foundation. If we ever went astray, they got us back on course. But they were pro-active, as well. Instead of waiting for something to happen, they were active in preventing, directing, and guiding. My dad always had a vision for who he wanted me to be. Parents have to know where they want their kids to go. That doesn’t mean making them into something they’re not, but it does mean giving the kids a direction, a purpose. The parents need a focus in raising their kids.”

I’ll share more from this book later. But I’d like to direct your attention to a webpage that promotes the use of Squires2Knights Ministries resources for youth athletic programs for boys. Check out http://boysyouthsports.com/index.html

Posted on February 6th, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
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More from Rick Perry’s On My Honor

“A society that puts the rights of individuals above their responsibilities is in danger of creating a generation of children too self-absorbed to contribute to the fabric of community. Scouting resists this temptation - a temptation I believe is as old as original sin in the Garden of Eden, when man began the quest to become his won god instead of settling for the joy and security of submitting to God and living in communion with Him and His creation.”

“Ask just about any parent, and he or she will tell you that, without proper socialization, our children would gravitate toward their own nature, which is to be selfish without regard for anyone else.”

Now there is a view that is, I think, a little too profound for most of our citizens to grab hold of - or, without a faith in Christ, too contradictory to their fleshly human nature. It’s why so many in our country put their hope in a government and a judicial system that will give them anything and everything their heart desires. But they can’t see the paradox of a society of individual rights without the corresponding individual responsibilities to that society. So what has changed in the last 40 years? Governor Perry:

A Community of Shared Values

“It was merely assumed, in a community where parents shared the same interest of raising children to respect authority and live by established values, that other adults exercise their authority in a manner consistent with what was best for the child.”

And now so many parents expect the institutions of public education, athletic programs, or even church to instill character into their children. And when their children exhibit bad traits, they want to blame someone else. And Governor Perry points out:

“This often comes from an unwillingness to set firm rules and enforce guidelines for our children who, I believe, are crying out for established boundaries.”

So where does that leave our teenage young men?

A Support Network of Mentors

“To grow into successful adulthood, young people need a support network. When you consider that not every child is born into the best of circumstances, the greatest hope we have is that society’s institutions such as the education system, athletic organizations, faith-based communities, or mentoring groups will somehow get to those children in a way their parents do not.”

“The ideal remains a situation in which a mother and a father spend time with their children, teaching them a sense of social responsibility and self-worth tied to selfless service. This doesn’t always happen. Some children fall through the gaps. They have no control over the world they are born into or over the values of their parents. For them, there is a need for civic-minded organizations that develop in them a sense of self-worth that they cannot get from home. Nevertheless, I don’t believe a variety of social groups should be able to override the authority of parents.”

“The wholesome activities of the Scouts, backed by sympathetic and caring adults as advisors (scoutmasters or assistant scoutmasters) means that sons of single mothers can find admirable role models as they enter the difficult years of adolescence.”

Fatherless Boys

And when you consider that over half our boys are leaving home after high school graduation without their father at home and, with divorce in excess of fifty percent, over half those dads never see their kids again, ever. So you can see why I believe our boys, especially those of single mothers, need committed adult male mentors who are equipped to teach Christ-centered manhood to them through the Boy Scouts, athletic programs, school programs and church.

Once again I want to commend Texas Governor Rick Perry for his bold stance against the moral decay of our American values and his support of the Boy Scouts of America as our nation’s foremost youth program of character development and values-based leadership training (Vision Statement of BSA).

Squires2Knights Ministries

Squires2Knights Ministries offers resources to enhance any mentorship effort for teenage boys. We offer a devotional tailor-made for any organization that wants to instill a Christ-centered vision of authentic manhood to the next generation of men.

Rick Perry, On My Honor - Why the American Values of the Boy Scouts Are Worth Fighting For, Stroud & Hall Publishers, 2008.

Posted on January 23rd, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

I received a signed copy of Texas Governor Rick Perry’s new book: On My Honor - Why the American Values of the Boy Scouts Are Worth Fighting For. It was given to me as a Christmas gift from my father-in-law, Larry Garner.

I’ll let Sean Hannity introduce the book, as he offers his endorsement at the beginning:

“Governor Perry pulls no punches as he details the relentless assault on the Scouts and the traditional American values they instill.”

And Newt Gingrich offers this:

“For decades, the culture warriors of the left have waged war on societal institutions that espouse traditional American values. In On My Honor, Texas Governor Rich Perry examines the left’s attacks on a venerable American institution that has had a profound impact on the values and virtues of young Americans: The Boy Scouts of America.”

Boy Scouts - Character Building and Leadership Training

I am a strong advocate of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA). My father was one of my Scoutmasters as I progressed to the rank of Eagle Scout. I was also a Scout leader while my son did the same. The Boys Scouts of America is our nation’s foremost youth program of character development and values-based leadership training (Vision Statement of BSA). Unfortunately, the BSA and our American values are under attack. Governor Perry explains:

War on the Scouts

“I also believe this book demonstrates that the so-called “War on the Scouts” is a microcosm of a larger phenomenon, a “culture war” that has been tearing at the seams of our society for forty years, and that pits traditional values such as service, selflessness, and sacrifice for the common good against a newer doctrine that elevates the self above society and relegates morality to a shapeless form of relativity. The attacks on the Scouts are but one front in a larger war. The forces of moral relativity - the most famous of which is the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)-would remove any mention of God from the public square, would sanitize our society of bright lines dividing right and wrong, and would elevate doing what “feels good” as a moral imperative higher than doing what is necessary for us to live together.”

In his INTRODUCTION, Governor Perry expands on his depiction of the Boy Scouts and how they fit into America’s value system:

“Scouting’s values are drawn from those of the huge middle class of our nation - a body of people generous to those less fortunate and not envious of those who do well because opportunities are open to nearly everyone.”

“Scouting is firmly non-sectarian, but it expects its members to express a belief in the Almighty, and to live according to that faith in their daily lives.”

Governor Perry then explains where and when the attacks began:

The Culture War

“It’s called the culture war today, but when it began in the 1960s and ’70s, it didn’t have a name. Student campus unrest, rejection of authority, the “self-esteem” movement, moral relativism, and the demands of secularists all gradually fused into a series of attacks on American institutions.”

“The objectives of radicals seemed to be to tear away at the foundations of our society, attacking the role of faith, undermining the role of the family, and exploiting freedom to push a divisive agenda of permissiveness.”

And of course we can’t allow the momentum of this war to continue against the Boy Scouts and America’s value system:

“We are close to a tipping point in American society. If you believe there is right and wrong, that there are acceptable standards of behavior, that ethics cannot be made up on the spot, that judges should base their decisions on interpretations of the law not current opinion, and that this is a nation founded on a belief in God (George Washington called it “Divine Providence”), then you have a stake in this war.”

Go to http://www.boyscoutchaplain.com/ for more about mentorship in the Boy Scouts from Squires2Knights Ministries.

Rick Perry, On My Honor - Why the American Values of the Boy Scouts Are Worth Fighting For, Stroud & Hall Publishers, 2008.

Posted on January 19th, 2009 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues | No Comments »

The following are the opening remarks for the first video lesson of Squires2Knights Manhood 101.

Gentlemen. Welcome to our Manhood 101 course. My name is Jeff Purkiss. I’m the founder of Squires2Knights Ministries.

We’ve got six different men who are going to take you through the lessons of Manhood 101. Together with three other Manhood courses, this series will take you on a quest for authentic manhood. That’s right, a quest. You see, we’re going after something that can be hard to find.

Guys, we’ve got to restore authentic manhood in our culture. Virtually all our social problems can be linked to a single problem. For generations now, we haven’t really taught our boys how to be men.

You all are the next generation of men. So you guys, probably in your teens, are looking for a definition of manhood. You’ve probably never thought of it that way. And unfortunately in our modern culture this definition can be tough to pin down. Over the years our society has twisted and distorted God’s design for men. And the cultural pressures on men, especially young men, are taking them down wrong paths.

The young squire of the medieval period had a totally different experience than you do. He looked to the Knight as everything he wanted to become. And his pursuit of knighthood put him on a clearly defined path. He knew exactly what was expected of him and his mentor expected no less than the standards set for him.

A knight was chivalrous. He treated women and children with respect and honor. A knight was reverent. His faith in God was unwavering. A knight was strong and courageous. He was trained to protect his kingdom, his family and even his neighbor. These are only a few of the primary traits of a knight. And a squire, who was in training to become a knight, went through a vigorous training process for more than five years before he himself would be dubbed a knight.

If we considered a modern-day knight, what would he look like? What would he stand for? It’s hard to pin that down because our culture can’t make up its mind about a definition for manhood. We seem to have gone to two extremes. A man is all too often either an egotistical brute, vulgar and offensive. Or he’s a sensitive, new-age wimp, without backbone and without direction.

So you, as young men, have to know where you’re going on your quest for manhood or you’ll never get there. And many don’t. There are way too many thirty-year-olds today who are still no more than adolescents. They’ve never really grown up and they pretty much just wonder and flail through life.

Well I’m excited to offer you guys a biblically sound definition of manhood. Squires2Knights Ministries, or S2K, has derived 12 topics to teach and describe authentic manhood as it was designed by God. These 12 principles come from three Bible verses. We call them Knighthood Verses. Through this Manhood 101 course, you’ll easily memorize the Knighthood Verses and hopefully, you’ll take these lessons with you throughout the rest of your lives.

Posted on December 21st, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

I give more credit to single mothers for courage, determination and perseverance than anyone else. They have been dealt the toughest hand and have been given the most responsibility. They must provide, protect, nurture and mentor for an entire family. They are heros by any definition.

God’s Design for Family

Unfortunately, God did not design the family with a single parent. While there are some great single parent dads out there, four of five single parents are women. This brings to mind the need for male role models for the fatherless boys.

Male Role Models

Every ministry and mentor program for boys encourages single moms to place their sons under the influence of good male role models. Their sons must learn manhood from men. Rick Johnson has found himself, from his Better Dads platform, teaching single mothers how they can best raise their sons into manhood.

Rick Johnson

Rick offers two great resources for single mothers with sons: A paperback or audio book titled That’s My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character and a CD audio titled Courageous Moms Raising Boys to Become Good Men.

Rick says, “As a mother, you hold the fate of the world in your hands.” Keep in mind, Moms, two thirds of our kids today are leaving home after high school graduation from a broken home. Many of our boys - no, most of our boys are being raised by single mothers. So I say again, it’s up to these mothers to place their sons under the influence of good male role models. More of the next generation of men will come from this scenario than any other.

Rick goes on to say, “Men are currently abdicating their roles as leaders in their homes, their communities, and their country in record numbers. This is creating a crisis that is threatening to dissolve the very fabric of society, destroying our country and possibly even the world. Men in our country are mired in apathy and passivity. The reason? They are not being brought up to relish their God-given role as protector of the the provider for their families.”

“The fact that men are abandoning their families in droves is destroying our country. I’m convinced that fatherlessness is directly or indirectly the cause of nearly every problem we face as a society today.”

Raise Up the Current Generation of Boys

Rick has concluded, “I work with many men in an attempt to change this trend, but I believe it may be too late to reverse this epidemic in our generation. The only way to stop it is to raise up the current generation of boys to be brave-hearted stalwarts of virtue and character.”

It’s true. Most of society’s problems are symptoms of a single problem: we don’t teach our boys how to be men. Today’s men were not taught how to be men either and therefore, they are ill-equipped to pass on Godly manhood themselves.

Some concluding remarks from Rick’s book:

“One last thing I’d like you to remember: boys are fun to raise! If you understand the differences between males and females, you will enjoy raising your son beyond measure. Just remember - expect boys to be a little louder and more physically active than girls. Try not to be too overprotective of them, and keep your sense of humor. I promise, you will find no greater satisfaction in life than raising your son from a helpless baby and then seeing him exhibit strength of character beyond your wildest expectations as he enters manhood.”

I encourage you to check out the Better Dads website (yes, moms, check out Better Dads). I also recommend A Squire’s Devotional: Personal Devotions for Teens on a Quest for Manhood. Help your sons discover authentic, biblical manhood from the world of men.

Posted on December 10th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Compound Return, Cultural Issues, Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »

I’m working on a Manhood Curriculum. While I’ve had a number of contacts from interested youth leaders, I’d like to get a feel for the interest and need for such a curriculum.

Squires Mentoring Group for Teenage Boys

When I started meeting with teen boys in a church mentoring group I called Squires, I discovered that there is very little in the way of resources for this program. I wanted to teach some general Bible study and I wanted to present and reinforce the Gospel, but my primary vision was to impart a vision of manhood - one that included commitment to marriage and family beyond what our current culture embraces (even the church).

So I began reading. I read a lot about manhood and teenage boys. I was able to plan monthly in-depth discussions with the boys. I adopted three Knighthood Verses. And I continued meeting with these boys for most of five years.

During that time, I discovered that many were very interested in what we were doing. Many were psyched about offering their sons and other boys a similar experience. But they wanted and needed resources. So I began to write.

While the Squires2Knights Devotional is useful in many venues, It falls short of the needed curriculum for church youth groups or school Bible clubs. So I’m back to writing again, but this time I’m going to do some video teaching with several other men.

Manhood Curriculum

We’re putting together four 6-week courses for teenage boys. They will be titled: Manhood 101, Manhood 201, Manhood 301 and Manhood 401. Each lesson will begin with a 15-20 minute video lesson. Each course will include a workbook for use in group discussions after each video. And each course will cover the 12 teaching topics from the three Knighthood Verses. The four courses can easily aline with the four years of highschool. Or they can be offered twice a year and be completed in two years. The boys attending are intended to be teenagers, but they could certainly start before age 13.

Please Comment or Email

I’m inviting comments and emails. I’d like to hear from those who could shed some light for me on the need and interest for this manhood curriculum. It’s going to take some time and money to complete this project and I’d like to know it would be put to good use. So again, please comment or email.

Jeff@Squire2Knights.com.

Posted on October 16th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | 8 Comments »

ActLikeMen.org

Please consider printing the flyer found at ActLikeMen.org. At the bottom of the navigation bar on the left, you’ll find a link for a pdf file. This pdf file can be saved or printed.

The flyer advertised five ministries, including Squires2Knights Ministries. Each ministry offers information and resources for bestowing a Christ-centered manhood vision to the next generation of men. Each has its own niche with unique material.

I’m asking you to print the flyer and offer it to Youth Pasters, Coaches, Boy Scoutmasters, Sunday School teachers or any other mentor of boys and young men. Help us reach the men who will teach, coach, and mentor our boys.

Posted on October 4th, 2008 by Jeff Purkiss
Filed under: Fathering/Mentoring | No Comments »